How can I share my autism diagnosis with my child?

A guide for parents:

If you have been told you are autistic, it’s important to explain this to your child so they can understand you better. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do this. Think about your child’s age, how much they can understand, and how they might react before you start talking.

Here are some ideas to help:

Talking topics:

• Talk about your strengths and challenges. Explain what you are good at and what you find harder. Your child might have noticed that you do some things differently from other parents. You can explain that everyone has their own way of doing things, and your way is part of being autistic.
• Explain that autism is a difference, not an illness. It isn’t something that needs to be “fixed” or “cured.” Tell your child that autism is part of who you are, and it always will be. If your child is older, you can explain more about neurodiversity, which means people’s brains work in different ways.
• Talk about other autistic people. You could mention someone famous or someone you know who is autistic. This can show your child that autistic people are all different, just like everyone else. You can also talk about how some people need more help and others need less, and how this can change over time. You could explain the kind of help you might need yourself.

Talking tips:

• Choose the best way to share. Think about how your child likes to learn new things. Would they like to read a simple book about autism, or watch a video instead?
• Give your full attention. Find a quiet time to talk when you won’t be interrupted. Turn off the TV, put toys away, and make sure you’re both calm and comfortable.
• Be ready for questions. Your child might feel confused or want to ask things. You might also want someone to be with you during the talk, like another family member or someone your child knows well.

Remember

You can keep the conversation going and talk about autism whenever it feels right.

If you want to speak with other parents who are autistic, there are online and local groups you can join. Talking to others can help you feel more supported.