Michelle and Joshua’s story

In his early years, Joshua progressed well, meeting all his milestones. He walked, talked, and developed just like other children. But when he started school, things became difficult. Being an August baby, he was one of the youngest in his year group, and at first, I thought that might be a factor. But as time went on, it became clear that something more was at play. After discussions with his school and GP, he was assessed and diagnosed as autistic.

His school did their best to support him, but they weren’t fully equipped to meet his needs—though he did have an incredible one-on-one learning support assistant. Everything changed when he moved from Reception to Year 1. The transition was overwhelming, and losing the support of the assistant he had bonded with made it even harder. His behaviour became increasingly challenging and aggressive, and eventually, the school could no longer cope. This led to suspensions.

Joshua was placed in a school provision called ‘GROW Intensive’. He attended for just an hour a day while I waited outside. I had to give up my career to become his full-time carer. It was an incredibly difficult time for both of us. Eventually, he moved to the standard GROW programme, which meant more hours each day, but it felt like a rigid and unwelcoming environment. He wasn’t happy and I knew this wasn’t the right place for him.

That was my breaking point. I was done watching my son struggle in a system that wasn’t helping him. I decided to take on the council to find a school that could truly support him. That’s when I found Doucecroft School. The moment I saw it, I knew it was where he needed to be. But the council refused to place him there. I wasn’t taking no for an answer.

I fought every step of the way, even threatening legal action. Finally, just two days before our court date, the council agreed. Joshua was officially placed at Doucecroft, and in April 2021, he started his new journey.

It wasn’t an instant fix—there were still challenges. He could still be aggressive, and we had numerous meetings with the school to track his progress. But the difference was clear: we were a team. The staff understood him, saw the signs when he was becoming dysregulated, and helped him manage his emotions. Over time, he learned to recognise his own triggers, taking himself to the quiet room to calm down before rejoining the class.

His confidence has grown in ways I never imagined. The other day, he asked to go up to the post office counter on his own to be served – a seemingly small act, but a huge milestone for him. Recently, he even told me he wants to go on a plane to another country. Before, I never would have thought it possible. We’re starting small, with a trip to Scotland this May half-term.

I don’t know what the future holds for Joshua—whether he will ever live independently or what his adult life will look like. There’s uncertainty, but I know Doucecroft is preparing him well. And no matter what, I will always be in his corner, fighting for him. He always says to me, “We’re the dream team, Mummy. You and me.”

To other parents struggling to navigate the SEND system: don’t give up. It’s exhausting, and you shouldn’t have to fight this hard—but the system is broken, and no one will advocate for your child the way you will. Speak to your local MP, reach out to anyone who will listen. The right school and the right support make all the difference.

I feel incredibly fortunate that Joshua has finally found his place. We have a happy child, a supportive school, and a brighter future ahead.